So today is Mother’s Day … one of the toughest days of the year. I hate it. Yes my lovelies, I am the Mother’s Day Grinch. Now if you’re reading this in a happy little bubble of family togetherness with a cute card in front of you and a little bunch of flowers then you might not want to read any further. I’m not here to piss on anyone’s chips or begrudge the happiness you feel today. Instead, this post is for those of us who find today difficult.
Mother’s Day is a double whammy of shite for me. I don’t have a Mum and I’m not a Mum and I never will be. I don’t know which aspect I find the hardest when it comes to today … both equally suck and both equally hurt. The other day it was International Women’s Day and to be honest I found that hard too. My Instagram feed was full of cute little quotes and a lot of them were proclaiming how strong women are … because they are mothers.
Now before you all jump on me, I’m not saying that being a Mum isn’t extremely special or hard, but it doesn’t make you a better woman than the rest of us. I’ve had this argument before and it still stands. Do I wish that things were different and I didn’t have a stupid broken body? Hell yes I do, but I don’t want it to define me. It’s tiring to constantly feel like you’re not a whole woman because you’ve not had kids. It’s really really tiring.
I was lucky enough to be raised by an amazingly strong woman. Now I’ve no tale of how she did it all on her own, as I was fortunate to have both parents growing up, or which I am truly grateful, but my Mum was the one who did most of it. She was the one who nursed me when I was ill, who fed and clothed me, who I went to for advice. Until you lose your Mum, you can’t understand the pain that not having her around causes.
I know people who lost their Mum when they were tiny, or when they were teenagers and my heart breaks for them. I was lucky, I had mine for 26 years. It’s funny really because we were never a family to go big for Mother’s Day. She got cards and presents, but we didn’t make a huge deal of it. Maybe it’s because social media wasn’t around or just because I appreciated her most days (admittedly not every day), and didn’t need a specified day to show her that I loved her.
I think the point of my little Sunday morning ramble is that, for some of us, Mother’s Day is extremely hard. It’s another reminder of what we don’t have. I don’t begrudge anyone their happiness today, but I can’t wait until I can merrily scroll through Instagram without having it shoved in my face.
So I’m going to spend today in a little bubble. Don’t be offended if I don’t like your pics today … it’s not you, it’s me.
To anyone who finds today as difficult as I do, I send you lots of love.
You might want to read A Letter To My Mum.