Feeling Lost In The Blogging World

feeling lost

Recently I’ve been feeling a little bit lost in the blogging world.  I’ve not had much motivation to post or even take photographs which is not like me at all.  A lot of thinking has been going on as to whether my heart is in this anymore.  I don’t have a definitive answer, but I do still have a love and passion for what I do.

When I first started Beauty By The Bunny, I couldn’t wait to write a post and would happily spend hours every day planning posts and writing them … lately, I turn on my MacBook to watch Real Housewives.  As soon as I do start writing, then the love comes back, but getting the motivation to start has been difficult.

We all know that the past year or so has been tough for me and I have turned a corner thankfully, but there are still days where I struggle, still days where I am feeling lost.  Everybody talks about this blogging community, but for me, I just don’t feel part of it and I’m not sure that I want to.  I’m currently on a Twitter break as it is just the most negative place known to man.  It brings out a really shitty side to me and I’m better off away from it.  I don’t miss seeing the sniping from people who’ve never met me, nor the attention seeking tweets.  Not having the app on my phone has made for a much happier life.  My blog views have probably taken a nosedive but my mental health has improved massively.

I have also discovered a new passion – illustrating.  As you can see from my page Doodles By The Bunny, I’m trying to turn it into a little bit of a sideline and so far things are going well.  Sadly, some people have even tried to ruin that but I’m not going to let it spoil the enjoyment that I am getting from sitting with my iPad doodling away.  When I’m drawing I feel so relaxed and in a world of my own and I absolutely love it.  At the moment I’m picking the illustrating over blogging although I am trying to find a bit more of a balance.  You’ll see more illustrations appearing in my blog posts as I want to combine the two, so fingers crossed that you like them.

My blog relies heavily on the PR that I receive at the moment and over the past few months there have been a lot less parcels arriving.  Now it’s not the end of the world as I never started blogging for freebies, but it is frustrating.  I’ve been told of other bloggers bad-mouthing me to brands and PRs and I find that really sad.  You can’t really talk about being a Girl Boss (vom) when you’re trying to ruin what someone else does can you?  To be honest, if a brand would choose to listen to gossip off someone with a grudge rather than approach me themselves then I don’t want to work with them.  I’m lucky that there are some brands who have taken the time to get to know me and still support me.  Even if I received no PR I would still blog – I’d just have to be a bit more creative.  I don’t judge the value of what I do by the products that I am sent.

Over the past year I put a lot of pressure on myself to make my blog amazing and to post as many times a week as I could and I don’t want to do that this year.  Yes posting every day brings in more views, but I don’t want my posts to quickly become buried by new posts, so I’m going to slow it down a bit.  If I post three times a week then great, if I take a week off then that’s great too.  During this period of feeling lost, I’ve rediscovered relaxing, something that I haven’t done for a long time.  I don’t want to feel guilty for having a Netflix binge when I ‘should’ be blogging.  So things might not be that regimented and scheduled around here and I’m totally fine with it and I hope you guys are too.

I’ve realised that my happiness has to come first and so far this year I seem to be achieving this.  I don’t want to be some superstar blogger but be miserable inside – I want to enjoy my life.  If this means taking a massive step back from social media, blocking people who bring me down, or taking a few days off every now and again then that’s what I will do.

When I take the time to really look at my blog, I feel proud.  It might not be the best blog in the world, I might not be able to feature all the latest releases anymore, and it might not even have that many readers, but it’s mine and I’m proud of it.  I don’t want to lose this feeling, so I’m going to do things my way.

feeling lost

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